I’ve said goodbye to other dogs that I’ve loved in my life, but Scout was my heart dog. Not just my dog, but my best friend, my adventure/travel partner, my conduit to spread love and light people up, my teacher and the place where I found so much comfort. He just got me and I miss him so very much.
Scout passed away August 2, 2021. He was only 6 years old, and he had cardiac hemangiosarcoma. I still think of him everyday. Some days less, some days severe enough for me to break down in tears. Speaking about him always evokes strong emotions. Although difficult, I love to share his story.
The grief of losing our pets is something that only pet owners can understand. For people who have not owned a pet, witnessing the intense emotions that pet owners go through when their pets pass on is often bewildering. “It is only a dog,” they would say. But as dog owners, we know it is so much more than that.
Despite the heartache, I’d do it all over again…and again…and again. Through my grief I’ve learned that beginnings are never a guarantee, but the end is always inevitable. The end of life, the end of love, the end of a beautiful friendship and the end of a story — one that, for me, was so special, so unique and filled with so much love, hope, laughter, magical moments and life lessons.
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”
–Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
As I approach the year mark, I’m forced to reflect on new beginnings and fresh starts. Letting go is impossible to do all at once. It’s difficult and it hurts, but it starts with the closing of a chapter.
Scout and I had the most beautiful story, but now it’s Archie’s turn and my heart is open. I’m ready to write my story’s next chapter.
Archie and Scout are different in so many ways, but one thing that’s the same is how much I will love and care for them. I want Archie’s life to feel as full and as abundant as Scout’s did. It’s what he deserves. They all do, don’t they? I have to remind myself there is a season and a reason.
Having a rescue dog is something I’ve never experienced before and they come with their own set of challenges and their own unique gifts, but he deserves the best in life and the vulnerability of an open heart. My story is not over yet, but I know only I can make the choice to change the way my story goes and be brave enough to start turning the pages again.
Have you lost a heart dog? How did you get through the grieving process? I’d love any helpful tips you have and I hope this will be helpful to others whose heart may be breaking, too.
A few of the things that I’ve found helpful during my grief journey have been to continue to memorialize and honor Scout. We had a beautiful memorial for him at his favorite beach town. All of his doggy friends were invited to pay tribute and enjoy his most favorite place. We also adopted another golden from a local rescue group in his honor and have created this website to inspire and encourage others to make beautiful memories with their pups.
These are just a few of the things that help his legacy continue and help heal my broken heart in the process.
I hope you will get to enjoy some of Scout’s #pawtasticstays with your pup!
Feel free to visit my Amazon storefront where I share a few of the books that I have found helpful during my grief journey.
So happy you have another platform to share your stories.
Thank you for your raw honesty in your loss , and all the love you have now to share with Awesome Archie … look forward to more adventures
Thank you so much! (( hugs ))
Beautifully worded Melissa. I read this in tears. Even after losing a child your words hit home. I miss my Mama pup so very bad. Today is 4 months. I wish I could get another pup. It’s like having a baby. After losing Elizabeth all I want is to love and hold a baby. My Goldens are my children now. At my age I realize that if I don’t get a puppy soon my age will prevent it. It opens a whole new set of issues. What if I get sick? What if I died? Who would take my beloved Bella? I’m not that old but old enough. Watching you grieve through Scout helped me prepare for Mama. I’ve been giving Bella all the extra love. But she’s 9. And from the moment I caught each puppy as they were born (the breeder knew my story and Liz) I have held Bella every day of her life. We are imprinted on each other. I see how Archie has changed in the time you’ve had him. You are honoring Scout in the most wonderful way and I believe he sent Archie to you. Although they are different the breed in general are the same. I couldn’t ever have another dog but a Golden. And for you Archie has been a blessing. And you are his savior. He loves you and your husband. He’s so blessed. I am happy you began this blog. I wish you every happiness always. 💛
You have always been so supportive of me and I have enjoyed every single conversation we’ve had. You’re in my thoughts often.
Beautiful tribute!!
Thank you Terri!
I lost my heart dog Oliver on July 13th 2021. I the same as you think of him everyday. I also still cry when I speak of him. I will never forget him. I have a black lab named Vega who is a little younger than Oliver and she will be twelve on July 1st. We will eventually get another dog but not until our girl Vega has lived her life out. It’s very helpful to have her because I can live on her extra. Whenever I am home and we are just enjoying our space and pool I alway imagine what Oliver would have been doing. Mostly lying next to me and staring at me with his loving eyes like he always did. His other favorite thing to do was to lay on the edge of the pool deck. We used to say that he was the life guard on duty. I miss him so and I will forever cherish the time I had with him and I will never forget him.
Sure sounds like Oliver had a very beautiful life and now Vega. I’m sure it must help to have another pup to focus on when one has left for the Rainbow Bridge. Sending a big hug.
As someone whose grief over the loss of a heart dog has paralleled yours in many ways, you are an inspiration to me. You have always made me feel that I am not alone in suffering the loss of my boy. Your words validate everything I feel and this blog is no exception. It is heartfelt and beautifully written, conveying much of what many of us need to hear. Thank you for being open with your feelings and your life with Scout and Archie. As Murphy’s birthday is quickly approaching and my emotions are getting the best of me once again, I will most likely read this over and over again ❌⭕️…thank you!
Hi Liz. Our stories are so similar and I’m so grateful that we met through Instagram. It’s been so helpful to talk to someone who understands the pain as deeply as I do. I appreciate all our conversations. I’ll be here if you need to talk on Murphys Birthday. I know how hard that will be.
Beautifully written. Because of you I have begun to “prepare” myself, if that’s even possible with my Furbaby whom is also my “heart-dog”. Because of you I will hopefully be stronger and know what’s normal for my grief. Just typing this makes me so emotional. Thank you and I’m sending you a huge hug. I love you, Scout, Archie and that handsome kittie♥️
Hi Bertie. It’s so hard to even think about that day, but anticipatory grief is also real and I’m happy to hear that I have been a good resource for you. I will be here to help in anyway I can when that day arrives.
I love this Melissa. I know you will reach many with your open heart and love for all things Golden. You snd Scout have touched me personally having gotten the same loss with my Ollie from the same dreadful disease at the young age of 7. May God continue to Bless your journey.
We just adore you JoAnn. I’m so sorry you had to say goodbye to your sweet Oliver as well this year. Your friendship and our conversations have been extremely helpful. I hope you fee the same way. Hope to see you soon.
This is so Beautiful! You have such an amazing way of telling your story!
I have had 4 dogs in my lifetime, so far and everyone was special in their own way. They are always in your heart and your memories!
Emma our dog we have now is a English Cream Golden Retriever. She will be 7 years old on July 21.
I’m so looking forward to following your journey with Archie! It will be Amazing!
Thank you for sharing Debra and we’re excited you’re here! What would we do without dogs?
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I truly enjoy following along on your journey with Archie and the incredible way you honor Scout’s legacy. Keeping you in my thoughts always! I cannot wait to visit some of the places you recommend with my dog Dillon!
Thank you for you comment Nicole and I am so excited to see where you and Dillon adventure!
I loved following you during your time with Scout and continue to love following you now with Archie. Your authenticity keeps me here. Plus, I’m enjoying watching Archie grow into a confident, engaged, curious dog who feels safe and loved – by you.
Thank you so much Connie. It truly means the world to me that you continue to support us and enjoy what we do and share. Archie is a gift from the Rainbow Bridge!
Your words make me feel like I am normal. I lost my Pitbull, my heart dog on 12/26/20. She was diagnosed with cancer in November, removed the tumor taking up the whole side of her body and she died 4 weeks later. The tumor grew back so fast. I was devastated, lost on how I should go on. All I had left was my Golden Retriever, Henry! He was the first male dog I ever owned and he was my perfect boy 💙 On 12/22/21, he collapsed in the living room and died instantly. He was 8. The pain is indescribable! I have pictures of them everywhere! Everywhere I turn, I see their faces. It just helps me get through each day! Your page on IG has helped me so much! I think of Scout often.
I am so sorry you have experienced such pain. It sounds like Henry may have had the same horrible cancer as Scout. They call it the silent killer. Scout was diagnosed and three days later we had to say goodbye. It’s comforting to know we aren’t alone in our grief and can support one another.
Dear Melissa,
Even though I never had the privilege of meeting Scout, I rejoice in what you and he accomplished together. It is so hard to accept the mystery of Scout being taken from this life at such a young age. In my long life, though, I have seen many of the finest examples of their species, human and canine, taken to Whatever Comes Next when they were (from my perspective) far too young.
My heart dog, Henry (GBR Scout ’03), died on May 30, 2017, and my heart husband, Scott, died on August 1, 2020. I will never stop missing and mourning for each of them. I cannot say that I have “moved on” or want to move on, as that feels like it would mean moving away from both of them. What has helped me survive and smile, though, has been incorporating gratitude for what I have had and what I have into all of my life and, as an act of will, to focus on that gratitude during the roughest times. What I am most grateful for in my life now is Bob the long-haired tweenie Dachshund. Bob was Henry’s little brother and Scott’s constant companion, and Bob has been my constant companion since Scott died. Scott, Henry and I rescued Bob whe he was 8 months old, and tomorrow he will be 16.5 years old. While hoping that Bob lives much longer, I am trying to prepare myself to recognize, and let him go, when it is His Time.
Leslie thank you for being so open and sharing your story here with us. That is a lot of loss to deal with and I am so sorry. They say ‘only the good die young”. I would like to believe that they are in a much better place and one day we will reunite! For now, I am so happy you have Bob to cuddle and spoil. Take lots of photos and make sure you’re in them. Priceless keepsakes. Sending you a hug today.
Well-written! I love the quote by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross … it makes so much sense, and I can relate to it 100%. 25 years ago I lost a child, not my own, but she could have been if you knew how strong the bond we shared was. Her mother knew how strong our bond was, and told me, “It takes a special person to love someone else’s child like your own” … and I did, love her like my own. Some unfortunate circumstances happened and we were “torn” apart. I had started taking care of her at 2 1/2 months old, and she was a little over 19 months when all this happened.
We somewhat connected as she would write to me growing up, but it was high school when we connected again through email. I think about her every day … not purposefully, just thoughts of her flood my mind, more at times than others, but it happens every day. Even though we keep in touch now, I still have lots of tears in me about losing her, and would give almost anything to go back in time. But i know I can’t.
So I think I can relate in part, to you and your relationship with Scout. I was only with the little girl I took care of for about 17 months, and I can’t imagine what it would have been like had it been 6 years, like you had with Scout. What I will always cherish are the memories I had with her, and the pictures I took. I will never get over losing her when I did, but I have learned to live with it and am so thankful we are back in touch.
That is so beautiful that you were able to reconnect! There are just those that touch our hearts to the core and we can’t ever forget them and no time is enough, but finding a moment of joy with the memories we made are so special. Thank you for sharing